I’m slowly but surely finding my way to more positive thoughts and ways of looking at my life and the world. I was never a very pessimistic person per se, but I am a recovering worrier who spent probably too much time thinking about the worst case scenario, and then letting those thoughts rule my mind and dictate the way I perceived the world and the way I lived in it.
That’s such a hard, unhealthy way of living! I’m not saying I haven’t had a happy life, but we all go through good times and bad ones, and historically I think I’ve let the bad times influence me a bit more than I should. I’m not talking about a bunch of major events that affected me. It’s the simple, day-to-day thinking that takes a toll. It goes along with what I wrote in my last post about letting fear take hold and not shaking it off, but just living with it that way.
College is weird. It’s almost like a limbo – you’re an adult but you don’t live like one. You don’t really have the full load of responsibilities yet, and you’re in this world where it’s totally normal to get 12 hours of sleep one night and none the next. This, for me at least, created an emotional free-for-all, and I experienced some of the highest highs and lowest lows during those four years.
I came out of college feeling pretty stable in spite of that. I had a massive amount of loan debt (still do), but I had a full-time job waiting for me and a plan for where I would be living. Especially this past year, though, I’ve found myself growing frustrated with lots of little things in my life. Nothing seemed good because I didn’t allow it to be.
Then, about a month ago, I started following a couple girls on Instagram. They had amazing feeds with beautiful photos of tropical places and they were so smiley and happy I almost felt annoyed…(There’s your first sign that my thinking needed to change). I started reading through their captions, and it turns out that the reason for all that happiness was because they were following their dreams without question and without fear. I wanted to do that. I started reading about “manifesting” and “the Law of Attraction” through their accounts and experiences. I was curious to know more about how all of this “energy stuff” worked, so I googled, “books to read about manifesting” and Gabby Bernstein’s name popped up.
I clicked, read through her website, her story, the descriptions of her books and watched a few of her videos on YouTube. After all that, I knew I wanted to know more. I ended up reading The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles, originally published in 1910. It was pretty cool to think about Wattles writing this over a century ago when the culture in the U.S. was so different because the book and what it teaches still holds completely true today. I took 19 pages of notes! Every page had little nuggets of wisdom I couldn’t resist writing down, and I know I’ll keep going back to it.
After I finished that, I bought Gabby’s book The Universe Has Your Back. I’ve loved reading parts of her own journey to get to where she is today with her spirituality, and the pointers and wisdom she offers in this book are, again, things I will continue to revisit.
One of the greatest things this new way of thinking has helped me with is feeling grateful everyday for everything I have and will have. Part of manifesting is living like you already have everything in life you want. I love that! It’s such a positive way of thinking. Instead of being jealous or dissatisfied, gratitude makes you feel lucky, loved and fulfilled.
There’s a ton to write on this topic so I was thinking of keeping a record on here to follow my progress through The Universe Has Your Back. I find manifesting so fascinating, and I’ve had some really interesting experiences since I started down this spiritual path, so look out for more on that!
In the meantime, I’m sending love, light and good energy out to the Universe and you too!